Thursday, May 5, 2011

A few life lessons

I'm one of those girls that likes to think about stuff, realize stuff and take lessons from all that stuff. I am always reading self help books and working on myself. NOT that I think I need help (hahaa), but I honestly love learning about myself. What makes me tick, what makes me happy and what makes me ME. Every day I am turning into the best version of myself, and that makes me extremely happy.

So, I've been thinking lots lately about all this stuff, so I have compiled a list. These are things I deem as very important ways to live your life, so take from it what you will. Just try them out and see... :)

Live in the present moment
This is super important. I can't stress this enough! It seems like a pretty popular statement, but do people actually live like this? I'm not sure. It's so easy to look back and reflect on the past. You might wish you did something different or regret something you didn't do. Well let me tell you this.. you can't do anything about it! So get over it! If things didn't work out the way you wanted it to, take that as a sign that something better is out there for you :) Don't view it as negative or positive. It just is. The answers will come in time. Just be patient. It's so easy to dream and think about the future. It's fun to dream and think up plans, but you lose track of the now and now is all you have. Right now is the most important part of your life, yet we forget to focus on it. Live today and soak in today. Dream from time to time. Reflect from time to time.... but the rest of it... live right now! JUST LIVE! It's all you got. Enjoy today. Enjoy this rainy day or this sunny day. Today is way too valuable to not live every single moment to the fullest.

Do not analyze
Do I really need to explain why you don't analyze? Well let me tell you from years of experience. You start to make up stories (good and bad - but mostly bad) in your mind. Your mind snowballs to extreme levels. You make yourself crazy. You stress yourself out over absolutely nothing. You call your friends and they get sick of hearing your analyzing, so they screen your calls. You put yourself through so many dramatic thoughts... and one day the truth will come out and you feel like an idiot. It's not even anywhere close to where you mind was going. Just don't do it. do.not.analyze! To help, live in the present moment. Find that activity to bring you back in balance. Maybe it's hiking or yoga or meditation or running. Do what works for you. But when you get busy doing something you love, your mind forgets the drama. Just accept the situation for what it is and let it sit with you. The answers will always come out, you just have to be patient.

1)Accept yourself for all that you are. Be who you are. Love yourself. Embrace yourself. Change if you want to change. Realize your worth and own your power. Just be yourself and BE PROUD! It's all the matters.
2) Accept other people for who they are. You will not always agree with them or like what they do, but it doesn't matter. It is who they are and you either accept them or you don't. Do not try and change them. It won't work! If you can't accept them as they are, then maybe they shouldn't be in your life.

Release ALL expectations
When you put expectations on yourself and others, you are going to wish you didn't. I promise. You put expectations on yourself and then if things don't go as planned you beat yourself up. You put expectations on other people and things (TOTALLY out of your control), you are definitely bound to get disappointed. The feeling of disappointment is a horrible feeling and afterwards, when you realize you had so many expectations, that's where the trouble started. You can still get excited about events and plans, but when you expect people to be a certain way, plans to go exactly the way you want, that is when the trouble starts brewing. Just don't do it. Let go and let whatever happens, happen. Still get excited, but don't expect anything. Just let things happen as they will and be happy with the outcome.

"Expectation is the root of all heartache."

Don't Compare
Don't compare yourself to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. When you think of it like that, I think it's easier to take. When people just say, don't compare yourself to her.. it's not easy! If you're having a bad day and see a beautiful lady, dressed well, living her life with a big smile.. it's easy to think she has the perfect life. But let me tell you, you have NO idea what's going on in her life. We ALL have stuff going on in our life. People hide bad times really really well. Hell, I pretended for a year and a half with my ex that my life was perfect, when in reality it was hell on earth. Nobody's life is perfect. If we saw everyone's stuff in a pile, we would pick our own stuff back up. If it's somebody's body you compare yourself too... it's just a body. It's just skin. It's muscle and fat. It's all beautiful. Learn to love that jiggle. It makes you YOU and you should be proud of it. Flaunt what you got!

Go with the flow
This one will be tough for all those people who love to plan. But for one day, make no plans and just go with how you feel. How did it go? Fabulous? I thought so! I always go back and forth with planning and flowing and every time it happens... I always go back to the flow. (Well for most of the time ;) ) Life will become much easier. Let go of always trying to be in control of all situations. Let nature take it's course and let things fall into place in a natural way. For one, it's easier and for two, it's less stressful and for three, it's fun! You never know where the days will take you or what trouble you'll get into!

Don't forget about YOU
Sometimes in the game of life, we put everyone else's needs before our own. This is a dangerous move to make. The only person that will ever take care of you the most is YOURSELF! When you realize this, I hope you see how important it is. Along with taking care of yourself, everyone else around you will follow. They do say that the people who abuse you the most is actually yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and love and everyone else will treat you better. Can't beat that, can you?

Find that Thing
I urge you all to find that one thing in life that brings you back down to what matters in life. The thing that centers you, rejuvenates you, balances you. I promise it's out there. You just have to find it and once you do, it's gold. For myself, it's being in nature. Feeling the fresh air and the breeze. Hearing the birds chirping. Sitting in silence. All I have to do is be... and it's the best feeling in the world.

Get out of your comfort box
Just do it. Try something you have always wanted to try, but have always been to scared to try. It might be terrifying, but once it's done it's done! Either you will love it and keep trying new things, or you can go back to doing your regular activities. Just get out of your box and push your limits. You never know what you love until you try it. Push those boundaries and throw that box away. It doesn't need to be there anyways! I'm not the most adventurous of girls, but if I put my mind to it and have nice peer pressure around me, I WILL do stuff. Afterall, I did just sign up to try rock climbing (finally) and that is totally out of my box. I've been pushing my limits in the last few months by just getting out and trying new things. Doing things on my own. Thinking up new stuff to try. Why not, right? You only live once. Let's make it a ride to remember.

And the final lesson... (which no offense to any of you...)

When you need guy/dating/boyfriend advice, talk to men! Of course we will all continue to talk to our friends for advice... but we analyze. A lot. (Oh wait - no we don't. Not anymore, right?) It's not a good thing I tell you. We think totally different than men. When you need advice about MEN, talk to MEN. Just like those same men will talk to us when they need advice about us. Makes sense, right?

Have something to share or add? Please do!
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  1. :) I like it Lauren :) good post. Especially the part about comparing yourself to someone who you dont know! Well said :)

  2. Good points, Lauren. I especially like the first one about being in the present

  3. Love that Lauren - I need to try to do these more times!

  4. Or, if you need advice about men ... talk to Katie!! ;)

  5. Hahaha! I'm not sure that I'm the most qualified person to talk to! ;) LOL!